Annoying Peach
by Shirotensaki14
Summary: Soul Society are dealing with a...giant PEACH! Will they manage to destroy it with Ichigo, Uryu and Chad's help? Read if you want.


**Right. Hi there. Just a thing about random bleach characters (good guys) trying to cut off a one tough giant peach. By the way, does the word 'Shinigami' have a plural? I wasn't sure. Probably the worst fanfic I've ever wrote.**

**I don't own Bleach.**

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><p>Annoying Peach<p>

Ichigo, Uryu and Sado reached Western side of Seretei. They were called by Captain Commander Yamamoto. None of them knew why they were called.

"I think we're going because a bunch of Arrancars invaded Soul Society," said Ichigo.

"Maybe it's some kind of training for the Winter War?" suggested Uryu.

"That sounds more reasonable than Ichigo's," said Chad.

"Chad! Why?"

"Because-"Chad never got to continue.

The three friends stopped as a group of Shinigami appeared in front of them. A short, silver (white) haired captain was in the lead. Ichigo started waving.

"Hey, Toshiro! What's going on?"

The captain frowned, "It's Cpatain Hitsugaya to you!" he retorted.

"Whatever. Why are we here anyway?" asked Ichigo.

Captain Hitsugaya pointed at a certain place with his hand. Everyone's gaze followed the finger. The three newcomer's eyes grew wide with shock when they saw a giant 'thing'.

"What the hell is that?" exclaimed Ichigo.

"You idiot. It's a peach!" snapped Uryu.

"Then why the hell is there?"

"I don't know!"

Hitsugaya interrupted their conversation.

"That is a peach. It came out of nowhere. It crushed a few buildings. Fortunately, nobody got hurt. We tried using kido to destroy it but it won't affect the peach. We've been trying to move it for two days but it won't budge. So the Captain Commander-"

"Yeah, we get it, Toshiro. Now let's get there," said Ichigo impatiently.

Suddenly you could see veins on the small captain's face.

"Toshiro?"

The captain's head shot up at Ichigo.

"It's CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!"

After a while, they had reached at the base of the giant peach. It looked like the entire Gotei 13 was there. There were kido spells trying to reach the peach.

The old man was there too.

"Ah, Ichigo Kurosaki. I believe you and your friends heard the situation from Captain Hitsugaya. You will help us destroy this peach," he said.

Uryu pushed his glasses up. He was analyzing how to defeat the giant peach that towered over them.

"I think the best way is to-"

Too late. Ichigo was already running towards the peach with Zangetsu on the ready. He jumped towards the peach, sailing above the group of Shinigami. Once he was close enough, he brought down his Zanpacto. It didn't solve the problem. Instead, Ichigo landed on the ground with both of his hands red and swollen. He looked at his Quincy friend.

"Ishida, why didn't you stop me? Look at my hands. It's swollen because you didn't stop me. You're so mean."

Uryu yelled back.

"Hey, you were the one who charged at that thing! It's your fault it got swollen! Besides, how did that happen?"

Byakuya Kuchiki gracefully walked over to answer Uryu's question.

"It seems that the peach has a very hard skin. It affects anything it hits it. So for Kurosaki's case, the shock vibrated from his Zanpacto and made his hand swell up. Squad 12 is researching the skin and how to destroy it at the moment."

Uryu turned to where there was a creepy looking captain yelling things at his weird looking squad seats, with his Lieutenant, Nemu Kurotsuchi beside him.

"Uh, It's that mad scientist," he murmered.

However, Mayuri Kurotsuchi had heard him somehow.

"Excuse me but science is not mad. At least I would rather be 'mad' than become a Quincy like you."

"Huh! How did you hear me from there? And do not mock us!"

"Whatever. Then in that case prove yourself and make yourself useful," said the captain, waving his hand dismissively.

"Yeah? Then I'll destroy that thing!" yelled Uryu

"Licht Regen!"

He started shooting at the peach. Sadly, none of them worked. The peach didn't even had a tiny scratch on it.

"Gasp! Impossible!"

"See, Quincy? It doesn't work," said Kurotsuchi.

"Shut up! It's not like you ca do anything about it!"

"Worthless fool. Doesn't know when to shut up!"

Chad came over and put one of his hands on the pissed off Quincy's shoulder.

"Calm down, Uryu. I'll try this time." His arm turned into a colorful armor as soon as he finished.

"El Directo!"

A burst of energy shot out from Chad's armor and crashed with the peach with tremendous force. The energy lost to the peach. Chad's eyes grew wide.

"Nice try Chad!" yelled Ichigo. He now had bandages on his hands.

The Head Captain was watching in silence. None of their attacks worked. Suddenly, his eyes opened. He had thought of a plan.

"All captains, lieutenants, Ichigo Kurosaki, Uryu Ishida and Sado Yatsutora! Listen! I have a plan!" he boomed. Everyone silenced and looked at the Head Captain.

"We will all use our Bankai, Shikai and weapons at the same time to destroy the peach."

There was a strange sensation as the rest thought about it. The group of Shinigami realized that they hadn't tried that yet.

"Then let's get ready!"

"Hai!"

And it began.

"Reduce all existence to ash, Ryujin Jakka!"

"Bankai, Jakuho Raikoben"

"Scatter Senbonzakura"

"Bankai, Kokujo Tengen Myo o"

"Flower Wind Rage and Flower God Roar, Heavenly Wind Rage and Heavenly Demon Sneer, Katen Kyoktsu"

"Bankai, Dieguren Hyorinmaru"

"Bankai, Konjiki Ashiogi Jizo"

"Waves, Become my Sheild, Lightning, Become my Blade, Sogyo no Kotowari"  
>ect.<p>

While this was happening to the rest of Lieutenants, the three were doing their own thing.

"Attack!" screamed the Head Captain.

On the cue, everyone attacked.

"El Directo!"

"Sprenger."

A Hollowfied Ichigo jumped up in the air for the last blow with Tensa Zangetsu.

"Getsuga Tensho!"

There was a long moment of waiting as the cloud of dust disappeared revealing a slightly scratched peach. All mouths dropped to the ground. There was silence.

Yamamoto yelled.

"We surrender!"

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><p>Las Noches.<p>

The Espada and the three ex Shinigami were looking at a screen. It had Soul Society on it.

"Now my dear Espada. These are the Bankai and Shikai of the Shinigami we will face in winter. Remember well," said Aizen.

When the Espada were gone, Gin started to ask questions.

"Did Szayel make that?"

"Yes."

"So the tip of the peach was a camera, huh?"

"Yes."

"Nice idea."

"Thank you."

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><p><strong>See? Bad. Just uploaded it for the people who actually liked it. Didn't really bother to do well in this one. Just felt like writing something. Review anyway. I can do better, by the way. I <strong>


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